


Black Reaper Re:ap and Sow

by deathoftheself



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Coping, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Threats of Violence, bitch you thought this was just an au, hidekane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathoftheself/pseuds/deathoftheself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in tokyo ghoul re : The Black Reaper Ken Kaneki, is assigned to a new sector away from his comrades, willingly.<br/>The past is catching up fast..he finds himself in an interesting situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 240 the reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ahh.That last recollection; a jab in his chest, he felt it deeply, to his core.
> 
> He spent these past few years living a blissfully ignorant life, one of constant belittlement and suffering.
> 
> Not knowing who he was..."

When walking to work the sun would illuminate the last few strands of silver hair crowning his head.

Framing his pale complexion, stripped off of any livelihood his former self had, he would sit in his office idly thinking for hours on end when he was not needed,

a cold unreadable expression was now covering his face;

just like _Arima-san._

_Ah Arima-san..._

The man that snapped him out of his disoriented panicked state of self harm and gave him a means of escape, through books.

The books he would receive from Arima where read and re:ad over and over until he returned them and began collecting some for himself.

Reading fiction was not his cup of tea.

He found himself reading it from time to time nonetheless, his collection was vastly expanded by now. The books, although immersive never quite clicked with him, even though they evoked his sympathy, as a good book should, he found himself envious of the 'hardships' of the protagonists who always pulled through somehow.

He yearned, the easy to solve problems, their simple life and the deep meaningful bonds they acquired easily.

but to his reality, those fictional hardships where nothing, nothing compared to what he had been through..

What he had been through.

What _had_ he been through?

He questioned himself , he was drawing a blank unable to recollect more,

He blocked the pain out. A coping mechanism his past self deemed vital.

He wasn’t wrong,

“let’s rest for a while”

“it’s your fault!”

“The world is wrong”

“what a fool..”

“no one will love me!”

"I have no place to call home!“

“Please kill me!!”

… “Please -- _eat me ._ ”

_Ahh._

That last recollection;

a jab in his chest, he felt it deeply, to his core.

He spent these past few years living a blissfully ignorant life, one of constant belittlement and suffering.

Not knowing who he was,

who he used to know,

who his biological parents where,

if they cared…

 _who_ he hurt.

But he was alive. Despite it all, he was still alive.

Because he selfishly took, and took,

and didn’t stop taking from this person.

 

_**Hide.** _

 


	2. Black Reaper Retrospect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He barely looked around, he shuffled and organized some documents in that new wider office that felt as corporate and cold as most of his higher-ups"

 He was planning on getting into a suicide mission soon.

 He was going to save someone else just as Hide had saved him.

 He knew it was disrespectful to Hide’s _last wish_ ,

But the pain would not subside ,

he had killed Amon, and Hide ... and many ghouls.

He sat himself down on a black leather chair,

His back to a wide window, the view, a dull grey ,the only view the ccg premises and the desaturated sky that encompassed tokyo could provide from that angle. Eyes focused on specs of dust on a glass covered wooden desk.

The desk to him was new , he was almost done cleaning up the place but was distracted.

He had just _abandoned_ his team after Shirazu’s passing.

Having all these unpleasant memories resurface just when he had suffered a loss of a comrade was arduous.

Kaneki signed and shifted his focus on a different person, one he did not care much for.

His newer team-mate … 

a man going by the name _Furuta_ , 

he didn’t like him,  frankly, he reminded him of his current self.

That man was hiding something under _those smiles_.

He barely looked around, he shuffled and organized some documents in that new wider office that felt as corporate and cold as most of his higher-ups, or should he say, past higher-ups.

No amount of personal items and colorful notes would brighten the place up.

He threw everything unnecessary away for that reason. 

His trashcan full of the things he initially brought over to make himself feel at home.

His gaze wondered at it’s contents, some of Takatsuki Sens books where in it …

"Eto…"

As he was spacing out , he overheard some people outside, laughing;  being pleasant to one another.

The laughing came closer to his office and stopp ed abruptly, he could overhear whispers as he began to re arrange files again,

whispers about him.

Not long ago, when his dark hair had mostly overtaken the silver, people in CCG began to call him the Black Reaper; 

_ 'good',  _ he thought.

maybe now they would all stand back and away from him. 

_Honestly_ … no one interacted with him more than they had to anymore,

not that it was _too_ different from before...

He had his squad before…

Ah, but he pushed them away,

it was for the best…

He realized he was tense and cracking his knuckles.

He paused as he noted that old habit he picked up.

Relaxing a bit he pondered and thought,  thought of how he would carry out his last plan to die in style ;

Soon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The chapters are a bit brief at the moment.  
> It's my way of making it easier to read as I will be posting some heavy parts later.


	3. The color of --

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The dark reaper followed that light in the unwelcoming dim halls.
> 
> He felt himself running.
> 
> He was running.
> 
> After someone who could be anyone."

Half an hour went by _too_ soon, he was mostly idle today , no new cases where present.

The sky got darker, blue, it swallowed the headquarters and tiny yellow lights from other offices where now visible, piercing through the night.

CCG employees where overworking themselves as usual, as would he, too often.

His eyes could not help but wonder down the training field, big poles that held white distracting lights on them towering over the vast emptiness, his eyes felt strain…

He took his glasses off and gently rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose.Fascinating _,_ how some things still felt so pleasing.

It's the small things in life they say...

With that, he placed them back on; picked up his suitcase and the trash from his room and head out of the dark office.

As he entered the hallway, his eye caught something brighter than the fluorescent hallway lights; passing by quickly,

strawberry -- blond ?

That color reminded him of  "--".

He found himself dully approaching a narrower, less well lighted hallway.He kept his eyes open and his ears where trying to pick at the slightest sound.

No one else seemed to be around, not in this section of the building anyway.

He had never seen anyone with hair like that ; here.

Maybe it was just him, because he was so new in this sector…

Then again, he did visit this sector often before moving to it quite a bit, because he would come looking for Arima-san.

As he thought of all this, he found himself stopping;

He saw a trashcan and just let go of all the colorful things he used to own.

He signed, as it reminded him of what is soon to come; and how futile it would be to care for anything else than his objective at the moment.

Soft sounds of someone approaching...

He could hear them, he did not turn around, but took a moment to breathe in and ready an emotionless _‘sorry’_ to whomever he was trailing.

However, the steps stopped as well, and there was a moment of silence as the second party seemed to step away from him.

He was a bit caught off guard, he was expecting a scold or something akin to a grunt , but this person just seemed to be scared and backing up away from him.

He turned around - “sorry , I didn’t mean to follo-” again, the flash of strawberry blond hair , he had barely seen it before, it again escaped his peripheral vision.

Kaneki felt himself surging with curiosity.

The numbness he felt ever since he recovered most of his memories was replaced with a heavier, _darker_ feeling in his gut.

He felt curious.

The dark reaper followed that light in the unwelcoming dim halls.

He felt himself running.

He _was_ running.

After someone who could be _anyone_.

He could get in trouble for tailing a coworker, he thought briefly.

He quickly dismissed that thought as he swiftly turned to another hallway, it was getting darker less and less lights where framing the hallway walls and the offices where no longer in view. Bright red exit signs could be seen clearly instead as he rushed and _rushed_ until he heard a heavy door open.

'One of the exits?' He got suspicious now,

anyone who was a member of CCG would have called him out on his impenitent focused chase, or prepared for battle, called for back up.

A _nything_ but run.

Because if anyone knew Ken, they would know him as a nuisance...or perhaps a bomb ready to go off…

Which he sadly could not deny.

He didn’t break a sweat as he pushed that exit door wide open, chilly night air gushing to his face as he proceeded to catch up to the person running.

He could see him now , running towards …the brightly lit field?

He was closing in on it when he maneuvered and began running to it’s sides where the bright light contrasted the night.

That man run further into the darkest shadows made by the Huge panel yard lights.

Kaneki took a few seconds to assess this persons features before they got enveloped with more darkness ;

a slim average built body, faded out khaki workers jumpsuit, a khaki hat and…

the CCG logo on his back…

_'Shit.'_


	4. For whatever one sows, that will he also reap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Without further hesitation, Ken drew out his kagune.."

He was following one of the janitors it seemed.

It made sense now, they would be here late at night.

He almost stopped chasing, but, decided he needed to apologize, even more so now that he confirmed he was one of them.

So, he began waving his hands and taking a few steps closer.

By now, the man who stole a few glances back at him, seemed to slow down.

“Hey! I’m sorry ! I just followed you out here, I just thought I was alone back there... and you running away seemed suspicious at the time,

i’m very sorry to inconvenience you.”

The janitor was only a few feet away, barely visible from the long shadows, Kaneki was bowing down low, apologetically.He looked formal and dignified even as he did so.

The man cleared his throat and seemed to force a deeper voice out, as he said

“It’s okay man… no need to do that ha-ha”

Was he so unnerved his voice sounded raspy? Kaneki thought, and then bowed down further, realizing the other must have been catching his breath because of all the trouble he put him through.

“I really meant no harm, i’m sorry I must have distracted you from your duties and got you tired running!”

_No responce._

“ I.. almost thought you were a ghoul- an intruder, you know? ”

He scratched his chick as he slowly straightened himself up, eyes still closed.

Smiling but lying, in reality, he began chasing what he thought was familiar.

Before opening his eyes, he heard a short laugh, it was warm and whole hearted unlike what Kaneki expected to hear from a janitor who was chased out of his workplace.

He smiled honestly as he opened his eyes and saw …

Nothing.

Where did that man go?

No, this was more suspicious now.

 What if that man _somehow_ bypassed the ghoul detectors the same way he did once before? What if he was only using that jumpsuit to avoid prying and suspicious eyes?

He looked around the field, his eyes squinting, as the light from the big poles reflected into his glasses.

He brought his hand up and tried to adjust his vision.

'Was this more personal perhaps?'

'Was this a ghoul sent by the likes of Eto ? Was it her plan ?'

'No… how would she know he was in his new office and that he would stay longer _and_ that no one else would be there ?'

Either way;

he had to find this … person.

As he was thinking of possible scenarios, he caught a glimpse of the 'janitor' running around the field fences , behind the blinding light.

Kaneki now run; he run and it was so--  _easy_ for him, the man knew he was chased, and did not stop.

'So obvious… if he just showed his face and badge this would be over…'

The janitor imposter now was close to another dark corner. It was a broad marble tiled clearance that was blocking any outside lights from shinning on it due to the buildings ceiling hovering extruded above it.

Kaneki knew this place by heart already, he knew that if this impostor made it past that, he would go through the double glass doors, through the detectors and then outside, into the night where he could miss him.

His chances of catching whomever that was would be minimal once outside those walls.

'Again,' he thought '…if he goes through the detectors… _could it_ … Could it be just a run of the mill person working here that was too afraid to reveal himself?'

He was close to him now,

closer than both of them anticipated!

_“Aah!”_

The impostor let a surprised voice and immediately tried to block it with his left hand over his mouth.

He backed up, almost tripped over.

Ken was so close, he was looking down on him.

Without further hesitation, Ken drew out his kagune,

he didn’t have to, but the other mans sudden movements and head bowing away from his sight alerted him.

Ken _stomped_ on the mans legs and the man fell on his back.

The man flinched, he began to shake involuntarily and tried to get up but was unable to, because Kaneki decided he would not allow any opponents the chance to escape, not when he had one last job to attend to…

His kagune extended into multiple appendages that flew out pushing the impostors hands to the ground.

He felt them!

The hands–!

_'…. Hand?'_

He was _sure_ he caught both, his kagune appendages where placed right where the hands should be -- so why?

'Ah.'

The impostor was _missing_ one, Kaneki's eyes widened.

He backed off, engulfed in newly found guilt.

In those few seconds he began re-assessing the current events and going through the possible scenarios that flashed all too quickly in his head.

'Maybe this was a veteran CCG investigator that got hurt on the field and was now trying to make ends meet by making himself useful as a CCG janitor…'

How  _right_ he was.

 


	5. Human, saccharine, and ;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Show me your Identification code, If, you don't have it on you, I will have to detain you"

As soon as Ken took a step back and retrieved his Kagune from him, the 'janitor' hid his face with his left hand and clenched his teeth, holding in a breath from escaping his mouth.

An action that could be read as an instinct to protect a vital organ was not read as such because of how delayed it was.

Whoever this person was; he was more concerned with hiding his face than getting rightfully so, angry at him for pushing him to the ground and incapacitating him.This was too suspicious.

Ken would have held out a helping hand, instead he stepped astride him with a baleful expression over his shadow covered face.

Something woke up inside him, remnants of a colder cynical him began to resurface.

No one else was out there at that time, in that moment, if this proved to be in fact an enemy, he could swiftly crush through that hand covering the skull, or perhaps go for the unprotected sternum and seize that heart from beating so, _irregularly and frantically._

The tension was building up, when he looked down on this man as a bird of prey would , his eyes trailed down to the body that seemed to be trembling and back up to the hidden face and covered hair that where barely visible now, under that khaki hat.

He knew there was something off about this, he felt silly not to notice, but the scent was human.

Human, saccharine, and ; _familiar_.

It was mawkish, his head felt fuzzy.

This confusion kept him silent for a few moments his face inches away from the unwavering hand covering the face.

The man in question, seemed to note the awkward silence, he attempted to form words but was short of breath.

"Show me your Identification code, If, you don't have it on you, I will have to detain you" Ken said, his voice low and threatening.

Ken knew that the possible impostor would have to move his hand away from his face to take it, this would give him the chance to check if the id, assuming he had one, matched the profile of this person, and even if it did, he still had a lot of questions as to why he behaved in this way, maybe the card is a fake and -

The man was now moving... away from him, he had pushed himself away from Ken using his legs, his hand still on his face, his back sliding on dark marble tiles.Ken was quick to grab him by the jumpsuit on his stomach and push him to the ground.

 _'Ghack!'_ the man gasped for air,

his hand fell to his side as he folded in two, hiding his face yet again.

But as he did, his hat fell off, revealing the strawberry blond hair he saw before, and,

a patch of brown at the top...

_What where the chances,_

_no, really;_

_was this some sick joke?_

That someone would have that same hair as, _him_? Did this guy dye it in that specific color and let it grow out?

Or did he happen to have this color from the get go.

_In all of CCG he never once saw this color._

He did not realize it but his hold had become stronger on the jumpsuit, he could see the id hanging form the mans neck, lingering there.

Kaneki reached inside the collar of the suit, pulled it out, forced it off the lanyard and as his left hand was busy holding the man coughing up a lung he twisted his body towards the field behind him and raised the id high at an angle where the light could reach it.

He squinted at the faintly smiling face, the features on the photo id becoming clearer.

 

He felt his heart skip a beat.

His whole body shook.

Cold sweat and shivers followed an aching sensation that covered his torso.

The name read Nagachika Hideyoshi.


	6. Better Than Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please excuse some typos, i will be fixing those tomorrow as I pulled an all-nighter for all this  
> EDIT: second all nighter, I got lost reading fan fics honestly, but I'm slowly editing typos.

He could continue to deny it; accuse this person of identity theft.But the hope that had suddenly built up in his heart did not allow him to do so. Instead, he dropped the id, turned around, and with his now free hand, pulled the man up.

The man was dizzy and seemed out of it, his knees bucked, Kaneki's strong hold on his jumpsuit was the only force holding him from falling back to the marble floor.

Kaneki's face was beginning to distort, the back of his eyes stung, a knot he didn't realize was there before, began to clump on his throat, his jaw began to tremble.

"H-Hide..." he managed.

With that, Hide focused his gaze on Ken's complexion.Hide's face was harrowed, and it felt as though the beating he almost received was not the reason behind it either, and that sent a bigger ache in Ken's stomach.

"This whole time... you where alive..." he mumbled as he still held onto him.

Feeling guilt ridden and unwelcome from Hide, Kaneki ended up projecting onto him as a result.

"This whole time, I suffered, alone.You weren't there, you haven't been in my life for years..." he was looking at Hide but his eyes where going over his known life like a man would in his dying moments.

He began in a low whisper,

"I thought you where dead. I thought I killed the one person that mattered the most to me, I was a murderer, yes but I took pride in the fact that I never hurt you, that I had never brought you physical harm until that day in my disoriented damaged state, there you where, putting yourself in harms way..."

Ken really looked at Hide now, his eyes, glazed; piercing; waiting for something, _anything_ ,

an explanation, a retort, a scoff.

_Nothing?_

Again?

"So, Why,"

"Why, DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WHERE ALIVE?" he shook him a bit, not as harshly as he would like to however, he could not bring himself to do it, no matter how upset he was.

"YOU'VE BEEN WORKING HERE? FOR HOW LONG? DID YOU NOT CARE TO CHECK ON ME, EVEN ONCE? HIDE? " he yelled with one last faint push and let go of him.

"Hide.." he whispered with a hoarse voice looking down "... Why?" his voice broke.

Hideyoshi, who was now standing on his own two feet, held his torso with his left hand, as his shoulders softly shook.

"Kaneki.." he began

"I'm so sorry" he looked up to him with the most heart breaking expression on his face. Tear infused eyes, his expression deformed, uneven, emotion he hasn't seen the likes of in the years he had been a ghoul investigator, not even from himself.

"What do you mean you are sorry, Hide!" he said as he found himself taking of his glasses and trying to catch the tears that where now freely falling from his face, his shoulders shaking the same way Hide's where.He immediately regretted being harsh and coming off as disrespectful to him.He was just so happy his heart could not contain this much stimulation.

Hide took a step forward towards Ken,

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it a better place for you to be in." He locked eyes with Ken.

"I'm sorry I left you all by yourself these past few years, I'm sorry I couldn't make sure you had enough before I..." He looked distraught

"I couldn't go through with it; it was necessary for you... but I wanted us to live on together...but I wanted to see you once even if you didn't know me" 

Kaneki's tears seized,a sudden realization hit him, "when you say even if I didn't know you.. you knew I ... forgot about you..." with that Ken grabbed onto his own coat and twisted the fabric so much he almost reaped it off, how hard it must have been for Hide, to know his best friend didn't even remember his sacrifice.

"Hide, I'm sorry , I'm so sorry-" Kaneki's face was pained and nowhere close to the acrimonious expression he had moments ago.

Hide took one more hesitant step closet to Ken, he really felt like hugging him, but he decided against it.

Kaneki noted that motion 

"I understand you if you now resent me, if you hate me, serves me right, I-" "It's not like that, Idiot." Hide interrupted with a sad smile.They met eye to eye again.

"..." they didn't talk for a while, they just looked at each other with tired half-assed smiles on their faces.

"I should explain" Hide said, picking up his hat and walking behind Ken to pick up his broken lanyard and ID.

"I will have to be brief, so please don't ask me anymore questions when I'm done" Hide could tell Ken was about to ask the obvious question

"It's for our safety"

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this at 5am and then re-wrote at a time where I was down.  
> This is one of my first attempts at writting fics.  
> I finally put it up here after some of my tumblr followers urged me to.  
> Thank you, please look forward to this story unraveling *gets shot for that pun*


End file.
